The Wind in the Gun Barrels
by AzureBlu
Summary: The cast of The Wind in the Willows join the army.


The Wind in the Gun Barrel

Chapter 1

It was a fine day at Rat's house on the river, and Mole, Badger, and Rat were sitting down for afternoon tea. Suddenly, there was a loud bang, and the door burst open. Mole spit out his tea, Badger dropped his cup, and Rat spilt his tea all over himself. They all turned to see what it was, and found Mr. Toad standing at the doorway. He shouted out, "you'll never guess what!""What," they shouted in unison. "I've enlisted us all in the army."

Chapter2

It was two days later and our friends were being driven in an official army jeep to the training camp. "I can't believe what you've got us into now Toad. First you take us with you in a gipsy car. Than, you make us rescue you from a pack of weasels, and now this! What were you thinking?" "I don't know Ratty. I was just looking for some adventure." " Yes, well, that's good and all, but you didn't have to drag us with you without our consent." "We can all die Toad, a- and I-I don't w-want to d-die," stuttered Mole. "Relax," said Toad. "It's peace time, what could happen."

The next day

"Oh my," shouted badger rushing into their apartment clutching a newspaper."Look here, we're at war." Toad gulped. The other three animals sat silently in shock for a few moments until Mole burst out, "I don't want to die." Rat went to his aid and tried to console him by reassuring him that everything would be all right. "Look what you've gotten us into now, you silly, old, fool." "Well, how was I supposed to know a war would start."

Chapter 3

Boot Camp- Day 1 operation: Obstacle course of doom

Our friends marched out onto the training field to meet their comrades. They were in D company of the 20th regiment. Their drill sergeant started yelling out commands that didn't seem like they belonged to the human language. Not knowing what to do, they just followed along with everyone else. They moved to a large obstacle course, with many a hard challenge. They were the last in line and after they had cast many disgruntled looks at Toad it was finally their turn.

Eager to go, Toad cut ahead of Badger and started to run through the tires. Midway he tripped and fell headfirst into the obstacle. The other three burst out in laughter as Toad started up and muttered swears. He went through the rest of the obstacle course all right, until he had to canoe across a small stream. He got frightened at the sight of a small minnow and flipped the boat over. It took him several minutes to get up, and when he finally did he could barely move because his boat was waterlogged.

He got to the end, (although a bit drenched) and so did the other three adventurers. When Toad told them about his escapade with the minnow, they laughed hysterically to Toad's great distress.

Boot Camp-Day 2 operation: motor car

After breakfast they went out to do warm-ups and drills. As they came onto the field Badger inquired, "where's Toad." They all stood with puzzled looks on their faces, when they heard a shout that sounded like, "Motor Car." There was a loud bang and what sounded like skidding tires. They turned to see a scout car jammed halfway into a tree. And in the driver''s seat sat Toad. A large crowd was forming around him, and as our companions got to him they had to push through to see Toad stumbling out of the car with weak knees. "Toad, what were you thinking," asked Badger. "I was driving a motor car." "But you know what we told you about motor cars." "But it was amazing. These army vehicles go extremely fast."

Boot Camp-Day 10 operation: cannon

By this time our friends were almost ready to be a part of the armed forces, but still needed to decide on what unit to go in. They decided to be in command of a tank in the fifth armored Division. So they had to take a course in manning a cannon. When they got to their assigned cannon, they were told they had to hit a pile of sandbags in the middle of the field. Rat assigned the coordinates, Toad moved it left and right, Badger moved it up and down, and Mole fired.

"All right," said Rat. "4 meters left, and 7 meters up." After the coordinates were set Mole fired. There was a thunderous crash and the sound of many things breaking, and when they looked they saw that they had destroyed a room on the second story of the academy. They all glared menacingly at Toad. " I forgot which way was left," he stuttered.

Boot Camp-Day 30 operation: graduation

All the graduates of the academy were filed into a large room with a stage and podium. The instructor was going to tell them where their assignments for the war would be. Our four friends would be in command of a tank and were talking about who would be where.

Badger would drive, Rat would look and tell the direction to go, and Mole and Toad would man the cannon.

They all graduated, (Toad just barely did) and were being moved to their posts the next day.

Chapter 4

It was a fine day on the battlefield and our friends were getting settled into their new tank, and tried their best to keep Toad from going near the driver's seat. They were being called onto the battlefield to be in an armored strike. Their mission was to destroy enemy artillery position and entrenchments. When they started moving they were fired upon by enemy artillery. They were able to take care of some of the guns and were progressing at a normal pace. But things suddenly got worse when Badger got hit by enemy shrapnel that penetrated the tank's thick skin and hit his chest. He would not die but he passed out. They were running low on ammunition and had to hit the enemy's headquarters. Rat gulped as he said, "Toad . . . I never thought I would ever in my life say this, but. . . take the wheel." "What," asked Toad. "You heard me." "I want you to drive us into their H.Q." "Okay Ratty, as long as you don't mind."

Toad took the wheel and was suddenly crazed by the feeling of being in a motor car. The sensation filled him. He lived it, breathed it, and thought of nothing else except the motor car. He drove the tank full speed through two enemy cannons and straight into the enemy's field H.Q. The entire structure caved in, but the tank's thick armor protected them. All was silent . . . "Guys," asked Mole. "Are we dead." A few moments later cheering sounded and they opened the hatch to see their allies rushing towards them through the rubble. Apparently, the enemy had retreated after the tank advance, and they were heros! Badger was conscious again and they were being lifted on people's shoulders. "Ratty," said Toad. "I don't ever want to see another motor car, or armored vehicle, again."

EPILOGUE

Our friends survived the war and lived to be heros. Even though they still deeply regretted Toad's decision to be in the army, they enjoyed the experience and the adventure. Toad however, did not keep his promise. After the war he ran away with a tank and ran around an entire city, and before he finally ran out of fuel he had totaled 20 cars, two buildings, and an oil portrait of a dog named Smokey.

**THE END**

double epilogue: this story never happened and is just a fan-fic that I made up.


End file.
